17 March 2007
Naked Chef on Hughs Manor - That cheeky Mockney Jamie Oliver has incensed local TV celeb-chef Huge Fearnley Whittingstall by landing on Dorsets doorstep. He visited Denhay Farms and Bridfish Smokery in an attempt to curry favour with the natives. The visit was an attempt by the youthfull school dinner king to get Sainsbos produce buyers out from behind their Swedish office desks and out into the real world. Dorset was chosen as the epicurecentre of the U.K. for the buyers who had never ventured past Acton (Wess Larnden) Bridport resident Mr Bat said “As we ain’t got a Sainsbos in the area, I just don’t care.”
Essex versus Dorset
It’s obvious from the authentic images below that Dorset men could take out any geezer from Essex.
Witnesses at Denhay
At Denhay Farm the Sainsbos bods were shown real animals being milked and Hams drying in fresh airs, the buyers sampled Goat sausage and Homity Pie, other delicacies sampled included Washingpool Farms winter salad leaves, which is a salad made from winter salad leaves, Woolsery Goats cheese, Bridfishes Gravadlax (salmon fish) and bread from that new fangled trendgroovy bakery in Lymeregis The Town Mill Bakery.
The young upstart bandied his twizzlers around town in a whirlwind media frenzy stop, “ Was that Jamie Oliver?” said Carlito. Oliver kept his head down as he ran past The Ropemakers and into Scummerfields, he was seen to slow down and stop at the wonder that is The Tchibo range in aisle 3, a good range of thermal underwear was on a special discount. After an hour looking at the magnificence that is the Tchibo range Oliver made for the exit, next stop Washingpool Farm to sample the leaves.
The spokesperson for Denhays, Amanda Streatfield reckoned the upstart Oliver was “Well impressed geezer” By the amazing variety of food and drink on the Manor. “He tried our continental style air dried ham in Larnden and liked it so much he wanted to see where it was made, so we showed him”
Hugh was unavailable for comment at this time, but sources close to "The Stool" say he reckons he could easy spank the intruder anytime. Bloody cheek.
Did you see the young upstart chef Oliver in Bridders? Let us know…