Bucky Doo

All the news we make up as we go along! What Speakers Corner is to London - Bucky Doo Square is to Bridport Radio.

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Eddie Bridport Radio are proud to announce the “Find a Bridport Olympian Challenge 2012”

As you are well aware (unless you live in Cornwall) the 2012 Holympics are coming to a town near you, our challenge is to find a suitable candidate to represent Bridport at the games of the MMXII Olympiad. Remembering such sterling work contestants like Eddie the Eagle who finished last in the jump of a slope and crash skiing event in the winter competition once.

Now here is a scheme that could really put Bridport on the map and bring cartloads of money into the town. It is for a brand-new annual event – The Running of the Ferrets. Like all brilliant ideas it is very simple in its concept. The young men of the town, or those of them brave enough to face these fearsome creatures, gather at the mini roundabout at the bottom of West Street; at the starter’s signal they sprint, as though their very lives depended on it, up the hill towards the centre of the town. Seconds later hundreds of hungry and angry ferrets are released from their cages and immediately give chase to the eager, yet frightened, crowd of young men.

With more and more people becoming aware of where there food comes from allotments and gardening have seen a resurgence in recent years, but people are not growing the staples of spuds and runners, they want something more exotic. Have a look what they got growing down the Buggersmuddle allotment.

The Bridport Radio personal classified ads have taken off recently, so if you are looking for someone special you might meet the thing of your dreams in the Classifieds...

With the coffee wars heating up in Bridders you won't be able to turn round without getting foam from a skinnylartymockachino on your elbow or suffering a nasty graze from those biscotti (Italian for biscuit (which is French for dried cake)). Costa coffee have now joined the fray while Starbucks have had a setback to their bid to take over a nice family run concern in Bucky Doo Square after planners decided that it was more a trianglyoblong and would therefore have to re-zone it as set aside arable land.

In a surprise announcement today Virgin Galactic SpaceTours announced plans for a 3.5km underground maglev track from West Bay Monorail station to Colmers Hill. With a target date of completion by 2012 in time for the Olympics, Virgin expects the new biofuel driven launch-ramp to utilise the unique profile of Colmers Hill to propel 25 space tourists into geostationary orbit at a cost of £2.5m per launch.

Dear Citizens

Having been watching with close interest at the escapades of Bridport Radio members throughout this site, I thought it vastly appropriate to offer my services as a “Doctor of the broken mind” …an Agony Uncle if-you-will.

I was born in Germany in 1928 where I was raised by my uncle, Dr Helmut von Gross-man Malicious. He specialised in the recycling of dead human skin for the purposes of sporting equipment. One of his most well known breakthroughs was the use of human elbow skin for the covering of early squash balls. It was thought to be harder-wearing than any other naturally forming material on earth.

When he was arrested in 1953, I moved to England and became obsessed with the place. I developed a hatred for humanity whilst staying with distant relatives in a place known as the black-country. Since then my only relief from these seething misanthropy is to help and assist where possible. A paradox, if ever there was one. But one you will come to understand with my guidance!

May I invite you all to come to me with social quandaries, personal issues, moral dilemmas and even the occasional health problem or two and I will do my best to advise you in a clear, concise and proper manner.

I look forward to hearing from you…THE DOCTOR IS IN.

Yours most faithfully,

Dr. Malicious

Please post your problem below.

blurry?

The views of West Dorset are fading fast according to the renowned “Dorset Vista Loving Association” (DVLA).  Gabriel Wildoak, a notorious “eco worrier” and chairman of DVLA, said toda:

“that with so many of them there grockles coming down here with their fancy ways and looking at all our views, they are starting to wear out. If you stand up on Eggardon and look to the west there is a definate blurring of the edges of the view and on some rainy days you can hardly see Pilsdon at all”.

air hogHaving observed some poor woman at Malaga airport having to unload her personal belongings from her bag at the check-in, because the bag was slightly over the weight limit, it occurred to me how unfair the airlines are being with regard to weight on aircraft. 

I, fortunately weigh around 11 stone and the guy behind me was at least 17 stone and would probably take up two seats if he could get away with it.So why does my baggage allowance have to coincide with his? Why am i paying the same fuel taxes as he is? Why is there not a scale that weighs the passenger and his/her baggage? then according to the weight indicated, the charges should be on a sliding scale and charged accordingly. Surely that would be fairer than the system used at present?

I cannot understand how the British people put up with such inequality and unfairness, what happened to the fight we used to have? Have they at last managed to drain it from us by changing the rules so often that we are in a state of confusion? I mean, we can no longer find anything on our beaches without being arrested nowadays too!! The country is gone potty damnit,
dragon

Mary Griffin from the Dorset Echo has jumped on the band wagon with an article (imaginativley entitled "Town has become 'Notting Hill-on-Sea'") that quotes this website heavily but does not mention its name. Our point was we didn't like Bridport being represented as Notting-Hill-On-Sea, but now, we're being represented as a bunch of pitchfork-wielding angry villagers.

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