Another exclusive from Scoop Doggy Style.
What is Global Warming?
Global warming is basically the Whole World warming up, resulting in Mediterranean type weather being the norm rather than the exception, it’s like The Lord has taken his big whisk and mixed everything up. We asked local man Norm Exception for his comments; “S’bloody great, sod the kids I’m switching on all the lights in the ‘ouse an leavin the telly on standby, where’s my patio ‘eater?”
Global Warming The Truth.
Bridport, or to be more precise, Dr Robert’s Close, has been identified by The World Global Warming Early Warning Sensing and Detection Centre (THEWGWERSED as it is known in the trade) as the Worlds Global Warming hotspot. Fuelled by Red Bull and energy drinks Dr Bob’s Close has a Qwerty value topping over 59QTY , Global Warming is measured in Qwerty’s 1 being low and 60 being very high, Dr Bob’s Close score of 59QTY puts it in the top ten of the world. Close runner up is Mount Etna with 55QTY, Modelled on Etna, Colmers Hill, a dormant volcano has been kicking off, seismologists at Bridport seismology Centre have been warning the Government for Days: “We have been warning the Government for days.” said Bridport Seismology Centre’s chief seismologist Dr My-eyes. “Something needs to be done to prevent another eruption, the last being in 1855.”
Off Road
We sent our very own reporting off roader down to West Bay to check out the effects….
“The effect is dramatic, the Hummer grips fantastic now the sand has all but dried out.”
Save the Wales
This image tells the full story (saves me typing it out) When the ice caps melt we are all moving to Wales, looks like a good investment, we asked local estate agents to comment on the future of property in Bridport and the long term investment potential; ” The top floor apartments at Quay Bay West down on the harbour are a good bet, if you look closely the builders have put doors at the front of the apartments on every floor. Cute”
Wales or East Angularsee as it was once called is a sparsely populated area of scrubland with few roads.
Help needed
Have you noticed things warming up?
Join the debate, get involved, tell us your Global Warming story.
RE: DOUBLE BARRELLED
The Bat is right you can call yourself what you like, Yours Moonbase Alpha
RE: HEAD CASE
More benches !! RUBBISH. More pedestrian crossings is wot Bridders needs, especially in East and West Street.
RE: OLD PICTURES
great stuff, i love the old pictures, keep them coming.
RE: …AND ANOTHER THING
…..and whats with the traffic lights at the town hall only letting 3 or 4 cars through at a time ?
RE: OLD PICTURES
It’s great great great grand pappy Bat, who was killed in the colonies by chav homesteaders!
RE: GLOBAL WARMING
I am charging £25 per day for sunshine, I get it in from China, who wants some? Rainy days are extra, we don’t do snow at the mo’.
RE: CULL THE GULL?
Seagulls, just like any creature, are fine in the right place. When they are in the wrong place, they cause trouble. Anyone who feeds them shouild be pelted with manure as this is what the gulls do to everyone. Hmm, taking everything they can get from you and then crapping on you, reminds me of local and national taxation.
RE: …AND ANOTHER THING
Thats so all the people who can’t walk the extra few yards to one of the dozen or so pedestrian crossings,can have 10 minutes to jay walk between the town hall and west street !!
RE: AWARENESS DAY
I got somewhat sidetracked making video’s of dancing policemen. I’ve been chasing down venues but having great difficulty catching anything suitable.![]()
Now that the policeman’s ball is out the way I’ll get back on it. Meanwhile, I believe the Lyric Theatre – where I’d love to stage the party – is under offer. Does anyone know who is buying it? I’d also like to do something at the Beehive – yeas and nays and suggested dates please – I’ll get onto it this week. Alternatively we could always go for a Bar Shhh! event – it’s been a while. Who would like to come to the bar that doesn’t exist? As for identifiable member marks – might I suggest a badge