One Way Ticket

Yeah. It's me again. So what's wrong now? I'll tell you what, apart from everything: the weather, of course.
I know it's futile to complain about the weather but I'm going to anyway because I found myself thinking, this very cold, very wet and crap morning, if we have another Summer like last year I'm going to buy a one-way ticket for the holiday of a life-time in Switzerland. That kind of holiday. The holiday to end all holidays: check in and check out. 

Holiday to End All Holidays

I wouldn't really. I'm too poor to go anywhere, mainly because you lot aren't buying sufficient quantities of my brilliant book to fund more than two tins of sardines and a bottle of white cider a week, and I'm too sunny, even in the rain, but it got me thinking … not the sardines, the weather/checking out permanently thing, although sardines are very good for your brain. Allegedly. Anyway, it got me thinking about that couple who went to Switzerland last week to end it all, Mr and Mrs Not-Hereanymore and I thought, do you really have to go that far to top yourself? What's wrong with good old Blighty for your date with the Almighty? And anyway, how do you get home again? In the parcel post? Or maybe there's a special unconsecrated graveyard for mortal sinners somewhere outside Lucerne, because the Swiss are mostly Catholics if they're anything and it's not allowed, you know. Killing yourself.

And another thing: why aren't the travel companies just a little suspicious, bearing in mind that euthanasia is illegal here, when people buy their tickets? Two singles to Geneva, please. And even more than that, what do poor people do who want to opt for the euthanasia route away from all this misery and suffering and bewilderment and have failed to kill themselves with soft cheese? (see previous drunken rant ) Go by bicycle? But what if they're too ill? So you see, it raises a lot of questions. Doesn't it? 

Without a Return Ticket

But ha! Maybe this is yet another thread to the evil tapestry our worthless elected members are currently weaving … a crude woolen depiction of Aryan youth and vigour and uncomplicated, spotless lives. A bit like a picture of Switzerland, oddly. Check out the Swiss immigration policy. They're not too welcoming, unless it's just for a very short stay. Come to think of it, you can't go to many places in the world without a return ticket, especially places with hysterical immigration strategies, the USA, for example …

Um … now I've woven myself into a bit of a corner. Damn it. I knew I couldn't do this sober. But there was, is a point, which is …
Never mind. It'll come back, and if you expect answers from me I need enough income to purchase a decent bottle of Chianti once in a while.

Love you.

Arlo Flinn Thank you for not Smoking