It’s that time to resurrect the Seagull issue again. They screech 24/7, disassemble dustbins, befoul our cars, buildings and washing lines and are generally considered a pest. On the other side of the coin they are beautiful creatures doing what comes naturally to them. So what is to be done? Bridport Radio wants your views leave your comments below.
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STREETS OF SHAME
BEASTS OF BRIDPORT
Some of the following comments are pure gold!
gulls and rubbish
There must be a colour that gulls won’t go near! why doesn’t some enterprising bin-bag manufacturer do some research into producing a gull-proof bin bag and make themselves a fortune by patenting the idea? just a thought……… doug
They have a right to live, just as we do
It should be a general rule that people have bins with lids on which are not easily opened by rats, gulls etc. seagulls are loud and annoying, but then so are we, right? and no one wants to cull us! I don’t agree with culling any animal – it is wrong. they have a right to live, just as we do. JL
I agree with a Cull, vermin is vermin. It does not help as there are several members of the Bridport community feeding the gulls. Ideally preventing them access to bins, by every house having a wheely bin would be ideal, but this does not stop the problem of them dive bombing people when they have young, several people have been hurt. In short Cull as many as possible and fine people for feeding them, they would not incourage rats and seagulls are vermin the same as rats!!!
Chamber View
The Chamber of Trade has been trying to get a Bylaw in place for some time to encourage rubbish to be placed in a gull-proof bin – but its a slow process ……..
SEA gulls
The traditional calling of the gulls is once again drowned out by selfish and somewhat stupid people calling for a cull of these magnificent and graceful creatures. When I first moved here I soon realised that the sea was nearby and therefore seagulls would be around. I realised that seagulls at various times of the year make a bit of a racket and also that if you are too bone idle to cover your rubbish properly they will jump at the chance of a free meal. I agree that it is wrong to feed them and any-one caught doing so should be fined (perhaps the dog warden could double up as a seagul warden to enforce this. If culling is to occur then I insist on a cull of all other song birds that wake me up in the morning as well as all the fish in the sea as I cant stand the thought of swimming where fish have been doing there toilet, while we are at it how about getting rid of all the cows and sheep as all they do is go about bleating, mooing and messing up the country side. What the potential seagull killers need to realise is that the fact they wind you up so much makes some of us laugh.
The Gulls need to be culled as they are out of hand, They are no more than flying rats the only difference is Rats don’t defacate on your head. Also why not cull anybody who feeds the Gulls this might make people think before they feed them.
No cull but harvest
Perhaps if we called it harvesting and not culling people would not mind so much, not many people are kicking up about the thousands of chickens that go to food production every week. So let us take some seagulls and serve them up to grockles as a local delicacy – “”””Sea Chicken – mmm with that delicious flavour of bins and tar””””
That’s the point isn’t it? Make the grockles walk, that’s what I say! They could all do with losing a few pounds, and not to mention getting their midlands accents, obesity, sun burn, and cruelty to children off our beaches and trudging up south street while us locals stick to our guns, avoid the carparks, and do our damndest not to put any more money into the pockets of our thieving town council!
Cull The Gull
I had the most unfotunate experiance last week of being crapped on by a large and feathery gull! This has never happened to me before and at the time was rather embarrasing as it was in a very public place on market day! However the days following the unfortunate event were wonderful! I got four balls on the lottery, won on the horses, my nearest and dearest had a good result in court and one of my good friends was given the ok with regards to her cancer remission! I would recomend being crapped on by a seagull to everyone- therefore- SAVE THE GULL!
Cull?
Culling is a pointless waste of time as they breed like crazy and will keep coming, still this will give the gung ho, kill crazy cullers something to do. What you need to do to reduce the numbers is replace thier eggs with china ones. That way before the daft gulls realise that is not going to hatch it is too late in the season to start again. I run a company manufacturing china eggs although I see no conflict of interest. Does this mean I could become a councillor or even an MP
Bird Flu
I think that our local Golf Club should be very active in prompting the prevention of this bird flu by banning all birdies, eagles and albatrosses from the course.
Gulls only natural predator is the Sea Eagle but with an eight foot wingspan I dont think we need too many of them around either.
being as we (humans) think we are at the top of the food chain, surely there is another predator of the gull… us!
Intead of culling, we could introduce trapping and mis-direction. With some careful timing, and by handing out sachets of seagull pheremones cleverly disguised as Fishermans’ friends at carvan parks across the area… When the caravaners leave, they’ll take flocks and flocks of horny seagulls with them. Killing two birds with one stone (groan).
Evolution will solve it
“When the seagull follows the trawler he is looking for the sardines”, so says that great philosopher Eric Cantona, but he has got a point (and a wicked left foot) Evolution states that we all descended from apes, well if that’s the case how come there are any apes left as they should have all evolved by now into us. Likewise so the theory goes is that a fish wriggled up the beach grew a few feathers and started to fly. Based on that principal if you throw enough dolphins off of west bay cliff eventually one of them is going to grow feathers and fly. Likewise if you keep holding seagulls under water they will eventually dump the feathers grow scales and restock the sea with fish. This is the sort of thinking that makes Britain great
“”””Me thinks we might be able to get a cheap noggin in ere yonder tavern””””.
RE: CULL THE GULL?
Seagulls aren’t stupid, they can fly, walk, undoo a bin bag, remove chips from the elderly, sqwooork, poo on cars that have just been cleaned, impersonate cats, fight, stay up all night, stay out all night, sh*g anywhere, sh*t in mid air, shoplift, steal from boats and talk about YOU behind your back. I have never seen a seagull roll a fag.
RE: CULL THE GULL?
Keep the Gulls, Cull the Drug users.That’s wot I say.
RE: CULL THE GULL?
Cull the drug abusing gulls.
RE: CULL THE GULL?
A seagull chick has fallen out of its nest into the car park at my place of work in Bridders. I have named him ‘Stevie’. Stevie is really cool, and I have been feeding him crab sticks to nurture him whle he becomes fully fledged and can look after himself. I check on Steveie once or thrice a day and hope to see him take to the sky and sore into the blue one day soon. I think people should be more tolrant of gulls, they were here first. Yours, … The Bat
RE: CULL THE GULL?
While we are getting rid of all the seagulls we should also get rid of all the fish in the sea. Just image if there were no fish in the sea it would be a lot cleaner because there would be no S***t from all the fish!!! Oh yes we should also get rid of all porpoises, seals, dolphins, whales etc to keep the sea nice and clean for the oil tankers to dump their oil in. Oh and don’t forget all the pidgeons who are always s***ing on people and buildings. The we can get rid of all the dogs (oh yes please) so our pavements and beaches are clean. Any more ideas for getting rid of wild life to keep skies and seas cleaner?
RE: CULL THE GULL?
Seagulls should be trained in stick-twiddling and used to replace fat majorettes at the Bridport Carnival.
RE: CULL THE GULL?
The last time you were down West Bay,how many Seagulls did you see feeding from the sea ? I bet 99% of them have no idea whats in the water anymore as they were not brought up to feed from there. Their numbers do need to be controlled though,and i believe that anyone who owns a property should be obliged to ensure that these birds can NOT nest on their roofs by any means necessary !! If they can not breed in town then they should move on else where,unlike the towns druggies!
RE: BRIDPORTRADIO RADIO
Nice idea BR! That Orchid Dawn track is bloody Awesome! – Someone get them a record deal quick!
RE: ELECTRIC PALACE
I would just like to thank Mr Peter Hitchen for re-opening The Electric Palace.For battling through the reams of red tape and never giving up.At last something for the Hoi Polloi and not just the rich and priviliged!Apologies for errors!
RE: ELECTRIC PALACE
Big thanks go to Peter Hitchen for having the balls to do something positve for Bridport.
I agree with ‘yardarm’ – if we weren’t so slovenly the gulls wouldn’t be interested in the public places but find food elsewhere. We have rooks nearby who squawk, break bits off of my birch tree for their very clever nests, steal hen’s eggs out of the houses, pull up beans and peas and leave droppings like all birds do – it’s against the law to harass their nesting areas so we live and let live and swear at the same time!
Seagulls are the re-encarnated souls of dead sailors, every one who has ever had anything to do with the sea knows this is a fact and not some superstitious nonsense, so if you kill a gull (or shitehawks as they a warmly known by seafarers) you are killing a dead sailors soul. So don’t do it. You should also know that it is tradition that if ever you find yourself in a place that sells alcoholic beverages and talk with any man that earns any sort of living from the sea then you should buy him a drink to get good luck for the day.
seem to remember a news story…contraception the pill 3I think they tried it in Bristol on seagulls
Forget the pilling and start the killing!! Now is the time of the lovely dawn chorus of shitehawks sqwarking and ripping bins open…. Well i have started early and ensured a few will most definatly not be making any more noise as they now ‘sleeping with the fishys’ I have emailed the councils pest control department, and was advised to go to there website and download and print the various PDF’s carry these at all times, and you can legally remove seagulls. Direct action…..
i have just welcomed back a pair of gulls that nested nearby last year,at the start there were a few indiscretions on the laundry (drying outside) but after making a deal (ie two pieces of vogel bread, very tasty by the way) to the father, no more accidents, and as they are so territorial no other gulls either.. adopt your own pair, and you will not get hundreds, you should see how they drive off unwanted competition.
So Tuzo, you’re paying a couple of megalomanical seagulls running an avian protection racket to keep other seagulls from swamping you. Will you pay me to go away then?
Having observed gulls recently… They use the rooftops as a safe nesting ground, away from predators. Thanks to the slobbishness of our fellow residents there is also a good supply of food freely available on the streets most summer evenings. They nest in early April to May. If the nest is removed, they wont be raising their great fat chicks over the subsequent months, and will bugger off. This prevents the feeding frenzy they enter as the summer wears on, and the chicks get bigger. If we got rid of them when they tried to settle, the bins they rip through to feed their young will remain largely untouched. Also, some more domestic and smaller garden birds might get a better chance to stage a revival in numbers. (cull the cat?) By early August the seagulls abandon nesting grounds and return to the sea. Have you noticed it all goes eerily quiet in the mornings? We have to make them unwelcome, and while climbing up onto your roofs and braving their divebombing is a bit tricky, it will get rid of them without resorting to poisoning or mass murder. It would also save the council a few quid purchasing wheelie bins, employing some armour wearing climbers to keep the rooftops clear.
BRILLIANT! i’m up for some of that mate …just bought a ‘Black Widow’ catapult off e-bay to deal with em… Anyone out there got a pot of marbles they want to give to a good cause??
WEll ranga it sounds to me like abit of a Rod Hull appreciation society that you have going there. Many people reding your views will no doubt take to the rooves on their rickety old ladders and you know where this is going to go…. Are you an insurance salesman per chance?? I think this would be an ideal way of giving the long term unemployed a way of giving something back to the community by sending them up to clear off the shite hawks. I was going to suggest people on community service but most of those thieving toe rags should have been locked up in the first place and the last thing I want is a bunch of crims on me roof workling out ways of knicking yet more of my stuff. We could always use it as an initiation right to grockles that want to move in, we caould call it BGT or “”””bridport gets tough””””, but we would really mean “”””baby gull twatting”””” is there a market for baby gull pelts??, bloody hell this cider is strong
Well…following the success of Rabbits and Cane Toads in Oz…I reckon the introduction of mountain lions would probably sort them out. Ferocious feelines hanging around on the roof tops, maulling seagulls. PERFECT!
oh dear the “”””grunts”””” season is upon us again,scratching their bellies, picking their noses dribbling cider down their fronts and thinking of ways of killing birds….still i suppose it keeps them busy?
Tuzo, you really are just here to wind everyone up aren’t you? Your comment number 49 is just a cheap shot. Tuzo, please save your lazy, unimaginative, deconstructive and pointless comments for your circle of bored Bridport buddys. Your a waste of Pixels Tuzo. P.S. – I’d rather be a Grunt, than a ……
Ah Tuzo! there you are, I am amazed you can see to use your keyboard as you seem to have your head shoved so far up your own nether regions, or am I wrong and you were entering into the spirit of jest? It is hard to tell as your horse is so high.
but you “”””waste”””” so many pixels(carlito) whats a few more matter? but perhaps i should take you more seriously (and ss and rustic) and stop posting here
I’ve a lovely pair of Peregrine Falcons as pets…. boy do those flying rats get the eebie Geebies when my falcons are flying around me house…. that’s certainly put a stop to them nesting on my roof; crappin all over me motor; dragging bales of hay up onto th roof… blocking my gutters and causing damp in a bedroom.. yep that and my Air rifle have deterred them
if i had the wings of a swallow and the arse of a dirty old crow i would perch on the top of the town hall and shite on the buggers below anon.
Tuzo we’re not trying to “”””flame”””” you off this site. But by all means you can take it that way if you want. It’s just that we’re bored of your limp comebacks and wishy washy opinions. Is that so bad?
1950sparks Try ‘Palmers 200’ next time if you haven’t already…. also get ye down to th Hope & Anchor and get some REAL reddy/orange coloured cider down yer….
Tuzo please don’t stop posting as each time you come up with an insult I think you have no more surprises and each time you come up with a worse one.Im glad we give you so many chances to feel superior but is a bit worrying that we are all lumped together.Maybe i am your version of ‘them’!
so true Carlito. its a tiresome waste of time trying to hold a discussion with her. Hey tuzo whatever you did before… writing dreadful poetry?/watching the shitehawks?/talking to rats?/self harming?/emmerdale??? …whatever it was, consider it a much better way to spend your time than persistantly antagonising the good people of Bridport Radio with your pathetic waffle. We’re all having a laugh here, but also care about our town. Maybe you should get out more because you’re not making any friends here…or like i said before -check your attitude towards us! Hey Massive! like your style mate. Carlito, you got a Flame Thrower then? excellent!
I see that Tuzo has once again managed to hijack a forum subject and turn it into a raspberry blowing yah boo contest. It has to be said that you come across as a bit of an effeminate Bond villain with your pointless questions, banal poems, and somewaht disturbed ramblings, however it wouldn’t be a Bond film without the villain so keep at it tuzo. One point to consider tuz is that in every group of freinds there is always one who is the freaking oddball, if you have freinds but don’t know anyone like that tuz then maybe it’s you. Back to the gulls, they are natures way of saying “”””take care of your rubbish”””” It is amazing to see peoples attitude that once they have bagged their trash and left it on the pavement it is then somoene elses problem, it’s a sad reflection on the society we have created for ourselves.
Steady folks, this thread is called “”””Cull the Gull”””” NOT “”””av a go at Tuzo/carlito/whatever””””. Stick to the topic in hand. If you really can’t respect other peoples right to their opinions I’ll have to Start another thread called “”””Abuse thy neighbour”””” or …? auggestions to editorbridportradioco uk
point taken (ed) I happy to talk to anyone on the subject of Gulls and their oppressors? Or great gull stories of the past, or Gulls i have known and loved..or even where the strange word Cull comes from. and (ss) I didnt write that poem unfortunately not one of my talents, it is anon, as i said. Now carlito, this curious “”””winding up”””” comment? a juvenile concept surely/ I believe we are all responsible for our own feelings .. do you agree? You give me far more power than i could possibly deserve or want, however my advice is take a holiday.. then things will seem clearer perhaps? has anyone seen any Kittiwakes this year on the cliffs?
I dont have a version of THEM (rosieo6) i find all humans quite delightful,refreshing, surprising … except of course when they are NOT (any of those things)
I cull th gulls & as many as poss of th orrible smelly beasts… cos they’re OUT OF CONTROL and the Council are useless on that subject as they are on so many others…. GMP has a point..can we Cull all th speed cameras esp those on all my regular routes. I want to start an anon Camera Saboteur group….. anyone fancy joining me ? those two coming in & out of Chideock can be th first to get wrecked… Tks Shagsack and ditto mate
Welcome back Tuzo….. Lets all forgive/ forget/ move on…. Kittiwakes..? Nah.. wrong time of th year for them…! Loads of Gannets around though th greedy little Bl**ders. NB & I agree about there being CAMERAS EVERYWHERE… but wot are we doin about it..?!!! I’ve started shooting th hell of th buggars (are we allowed to say Buggars on here..?) No, not even if you spell it correctly. – Ed
(now ignoring Tuzo)… is shooting white collar doves illegal? They keep eating my chicken feed.
The point is obviously not taken by Tuz as can be seen in the way he “expertly” brown noses the editor in post 61. The Editor (a fine upstanding citizen and moral guardian of the town whom I won’t have a bad word said about) said to wind your neck in and concentrate on the shitehawks, You proceed mention gulls in some obscure way but then go on to give shagsack and carlito (two innocent, gentle and harmless people) some tongue. Thankfully the Editor, in his glorious and radiant wisdom, has seen fit to offer us a forum where abuse is the order of the day, and for a dainty fop like you, that day has come. I expect to see you there ASAP, keyboard at the ready, oh and you can bring as many of your whimsical poetry spouting chums as you like as, in the local vernacular, I am “”””right up for it”””” Kitty wakes are glorious but I haven’t seen any yet however has anyone else seen the Puffin that was spotted under Black Venn a week ago?
I dont think you will see me there(rustic) as i dont much care for the title.. however here is another poem I wish i was a little duck swimming on a lake and you to swim beside me my darling little drake anon
You big wuss Tuzo, anyway here is a poem for you I sat there quietly fuming and read your poem about a duck, I thought if you wont come on to the abuse page then you can take a flying **** by Rustic
i wish you were a little duck i’d buy a gun and shoot you and i’d get away with it you stupid dumb fooooooooooor the love of donkeys will you ever shut up???????? …sorry ed, am i on the right link? ……is this the ‘CULL THE GULL’ link, or ‘CRAP POETRY CORNER/GULL LOVING FOOL SITE’ hosted by a tuzo. Miss, you are hijacking every topic and sucking the life out of each with your verbal slurry and personality ‘problem’ -Try sticking to the topic, stop attention seeking(its embarrasing), find another outlet for your ‘anon’ ramblings…and lastly, if you’re going to get personal on every link then i suggest that you GET IN THE RING on the A.Y.N. link. OK
Oooh rustic now tuzo is sending you loving thoughts.You are so popular!
Seriously, I am amazed and annoyed that there are dimwits who live in gull country who put bin liners full of crap out on the street for collection without taking the simple precaution of putting something (an old sheet) over it, to stop the gulls. They/you think it’s someone elses problem? well it’s not, wise up you disrespectful fools. Furthermore – those pissant street cleaning machines were going down West Bay Road in tandem (surely one is enough) driving around the piles of rubbish – surely it would make sense to follow on after the garbage truck? -Idiots.
Hi Rosie06 you seasame covered bap that enfolds the burger of my dreams, I have to admit it is a worrying direction that the tuz seems to be taking, it is a bit of a cruel tease professing love and wanting but being unprepared to come on to another forum and get bent over the keyboard and be given a right seeing to. In the meantime I would like to agree with spirit and pour scorn onto the morons who fail to grasp even the simplest of ideas to prevent the bin raiding outlaws of the sky. It isn’t the shitehawks fault, they are just doing what they do, the rubbish all over the street is your fault if you don’t protect it properly.
Rustic/Spirit. I don’t for a minute disagree…. with either of yer. I place out one bin bag roughly every 2/3 weeks and ensure it’s cat/ fox/ Shitehawk & even TUZO safe (sorry that was a cheap shot….) But Rustic this Cull Th Gull issue ain’t MERELY about street refuse..! If you’ve had th misfortune to live beneath a roof of the shitehawks (and with the roofs of your immediate neighbours infested (AS I HAVE YEARLY) then you will understand that they are not just a pain in th arse they are a flying, squarking, Crappin menace… Every day all of your windows are crapped on; your motor splashed with disgusting excrement that takes th paint off…. They crap at you as yr sittin in th garden , crap in yer beer…They even open me window and crap in my ears while I’m trying to get a bit of shut eye… They HAVE to be controlled.!!! All the screaming, th squabbling, the loud gorilla/ chimpanzee noises that go off without warning all night disturbin yer kip..ok that I can cope with.. but they block your gutters by dragging hay/ straw onto th roof and actually cause damage.! If it were a pack of Polar Bears/ Tasmanian Devils or filthy Hyenas marauding th streets and makin a nuisance would you be prepared to put up with that…?! It’s th same thing just a tad diluted.>>here’s another thread you might like… -Ed<< And a couple of punters on ere have tried th tactical defence “”””they were here first”””” Bollx!!! or “”””Live & let live…”””” again I say that is a load of Bollx! If you got yerself a dose of th crabs or malaria or yer carpets were infested with cat fleas, or you had rats in yer kitchen (as I did) you would eradicate the pests. what would you say to th deluded who say Live & Let Live…? Phew got that off me chest.. not sure I’m on th right forum now….. Shagsack ‘ll back me up won’t yer mate…
True. They even know when you’ve just finished cleaning your windows or car or are off out for the night. They know exactly what they do -and use their spite with pinpoint accuracy. They have a keen eye too, as anyone who’s shot or thrown stuff at them knows …next time, they see you coming. And look into their eyes and you’ll see it, Evil. They’ll take your fish and chips at Lyme, but only if you’re a small child or elderly. They’ll dive-bomb anyone who comes near their spawn, deafening you until you go -even if its on YOUR ROOF! They bully other birds and drive them away in force. …they have taken over the skies, and now they want our streets. Cull them now while we still have a chance………….gotta go theres a tapping at my window
Just read many letters on the culling of gulls.I have had a letter published in the Herald and was plesentley surprised at the response from truley Christian people who believe in the saving of gods animals. Its time nature got rid of the human race, look what we are doing to this wanderful world.
how do you suggest that nature gets rid of the human race (Marks 75) I am all ears!
Hmmm….looks like we’ve got a nutter in our midst. I wouldn’t be surprised if “”””Marks”””” suggests that plagues of locusts, poisonous toads and fire & brimstone should see us off””””…and the Angel placed one foot on the land and one foot in the sea””””…blah blah blah…PAH! Define a truly Christian person then Marks….go on…I’m strapped in. p.s. never mind this “”””wanderful world””””, look what you’re doing to the English language!
Isnt it great, a spelling mistake brings in results. How about “”””Globle warming”””” to kill off the human race? cant blame that on the human race. As for the english speaking people gone a long time ago, or do you want to cull all that cant spell proper like?
NO! NO! NO! culling of bad spellers!! we would all be banjaxed! What is this “”””Globle””””warming device of which you speak? Did it have something to do with the long gone english speaking race… I did hear something about it, i just cant remember quite what happened? Do tell?
i think gulls and humans have a lot in common.. both opportunists.inventive… with creative littering skills….plagued by their offspring…both to a lesser or greater degree protected by the law.. but gulls not subject to any taxation and i suspect quietly pleased about this? Is envy the root of these rants?
The ice age ended 7.500 yrs ago hence the globle warming, can someone use the capital I please. “”””Two things are infinite :the universe and human stupidity; and Im not sure about the univers””””. Albert Einstein. Off to south France for two weeks, plenty of seagulls but not inland
I guess i could (marks81) I must have missed that ice age, what with the walls of Jericho coming down, and other such nonsense. Enjoy your gulls,and ask the French how they achieve this balance, more fish in the sea perhaps?
Re: 75 & 78 Marks will you do us all a big favour and get back to Spencers ASAP; you’re obviously a complete raving loonatic….
well he should feel quite at home here then mr “”””massive””””? (83)(I doubt it is?)
tuzo You big Lesbian you’ve been told before to stay off the Adult Discussions and to stay in the Creche area. Ed. Can we start a Kiddies Lobsterpot for this baffoon?
well well…(mcf 85) I am not particularly big or particularly lesbian, i am however the self proclaimed president of the herring gull fan club,and I note with some satisfaction the lull in the vile culling comments, SO.. I am indeed on the right site.. no good whining to the ed, he wont help you!56
Yes there’s been a big Lull in the comments on EVERY section as soon as you start posting your embarrassingly Puerile load of twaddle.. You great Woose. May the excrement of a million Fleabitten gulls descend on your pitiful person.
still smarting over the “”””doubt it”””” remark? (mcf 87) i dont get targeted by gulls anymore, have made my peace with the ones here, i suggest you do the same… they have an interesting sense of humour
83 I cant immaging M or S being lunies.By the way I was talking to a “”””Gull”””” in France I explained the problem we had with Gulls over here…he said to leave the plastic bags open it want couse such a mess? or be more hygenic like wort we are, ok ya//.
Gulls are good for the environment and the local economy any fule know this. I do not expect to have to explain myself on this so don’t ask.
Does anyone on here have any Sense.??? Where’s shagsack ? !
91.If we had any sence we would be doing something more consructive….what is “”””shagsack””””?
Well, well, well. Nice to see that in my absence, you have all been getting along swimmingly. Ed, if this thread was a cow it would have imploded from over-milking about 2 pages ago. Why not start a spin-off thread called “”””CULL THE DULL””””? Rustic, this site needs an enema. Shall we liven things up a little?
the ego has landed! (93 C)
How wonderful….a gull B/WB images,great stuff!!!.(Chickens)Can we worn the Virmin that will start appearing soon.Devon (East) has agreed to allow these virmin creaters to be allowed on allotments.Please dont blame these creatures for suddenley appearing, anybody who has poultre will realise the problems involved.””””Can this help liven things up a bit”””” Almost as bad as feading the gulls.
Massive you are RIGHT ON! re the Seagull menace and I am right beside you on this nasty issue. & Rustic is talkin Cr*p.
probably yes as I would have adored the publicity and adoration heaped on me by the charity and right minded people alike. What would have given me even greater pleasure would have been pointing out to all the holier than thou, christian, types that it was an athiest who found it in himself to give and be charitable without expecting reward (ie a place in heaven). The romans had the right idea, throw them to the lions.
ahh…Tuzo. How I’ve missed you. Good to see that you are continuing your tradition of having a little dig here and a little dig there. Like a wandering metal-detector enthusiast, finding the occasional bottle cap. Anyway, on the issue of Cull the Gull. I don’t know what you’re all talking about…because as far as I can see it’s already happening. Power to the people eh? There also appears to be a suspiciously frequent amount of “”””road kill”””” badgers in the gutter at present. If people are going to “”””cull their own”””” badgers, they could atleast do them the decency of a good BBQ Badger Burger. Good eating apparently. A bit gamey, but then you’d expect that I s’pose. Hmmm… A sustained Chav-Cull is almost more a priority I fear.
I am on the side of the gull and one of reasons why: is that I was witness to an incredible comedy moment instigated by a seagull. 11 years ago I was in Falmouth on the Cornish leg of a comedy tour and, with three other comics, was sat outside the Chain Locker pub down by the harbour having a few afternoon scoops. It was a beautiful June afternoon with loads of people out and about enjoying the sunshine, food, beer and the company of their friends and family. On the table near to us were a group of eight, mid twenty some-things, (who would not have looked out of place in the Bull courtyard) all having a jolly good time with a big lunch, plenty of beers and lots of laughter. The chap at the end of the table, (Tarquin or Rupert I think someone called him) was bellowing out a laugh loud enough to gain my attention, as well as warn shipping for miles around. As I looked over and noticed his head thrown back in mid guffaw, something else caught my eye. With an almighty aaarrrraaauuuuuggggghhhh Tarquin/Rupert suddenly threw his head forward and projectile vomited all over the table with a large percentage of it splashing over the entire company. (trust me on this, puke doesn’t discriminate between Prada or Peacocks) The initial chunder was followed by more heaving and spray puking from Tarquin/Rupert who was joined by two of the female s and three of the other chaps there almost like a domino effect. It was a torrent of spew that suddenly had attracted a whole flock of seagulls which now descended on the table and surrounds with a squaking, screeching frenzy, causing screams and much flapping and Hitchcock-esque ‘get them off me” amoungst the group trying to fend them off whilst recovering their belongings, and dignity, with as much aplomb as could be mustered. While my companions sat rooted to the spot in eye-bulging horror at what they had witnessed, I was a gibbering, hacking, spurting, hopelessly reduced to tears, gut wrenching laughter filled, basket case. I realised what had caught my eye was a well aimed, still warm, large glob of seagull shite that had landed perfectly in Tarquin/Ruperts braying open mouth. Once I had managed to gather my breathing long enough to tell the others what I had seen, they too, in a beer spurting set of snorts, were reduced to tears by the sheer slapstick comedy element of it. Apart from a seafarers natural affection for seabirds that one “seagull encounter “ has ensured that I am and always will be a seagull fan.
missed you too carlito(i think?) so you guys must be the bottle caps i find? There will be no CULLING of gulls,as you all know by now they are a protected species,(witness the £400 find a man in Devon had to pay for his wanton destruction of a gull) On the subject of the irrational hatred of them, i would suggest the next time one of you spys one, and feels this hatred you look deeper into your hearts and ask yourselves, is it the gull? Or do you have some anger at yourself, or someone else that is being suppressed? hey carlito you and Bentley should get together….you have the same sort of style… (brevity is the soul of wit.. so says who?)
Anyone with o level English lit should know Shakespeare when they hear it and failing that try google, however if brevity is the soul of wit then Tuzo also is the sole of wit. The sole beginning with As. (sorry Ed be he does ask for it) Back to the gulls, the pro-cullers need to read johnathon livingstone seagull which will help you see them in a dfferent light.
Rustic me old fruit.. With Respect matey (and I do respect your opinion pal)it’s ME that’s having to repeat myself and type very slowly for you so you understand…! Let me refer you back to my Post no. 73 on page Four of this ‘debate’… read it will you because it’s one of the few postings on here written with good sense and the benefit of years of EXPERIENCE of living beneath a roof of the flying shite hawk vermin. It is not merely about Street refuse..! Seagulls can\’t be allowed free reign to colonise rooftops; Yes they belong out at sea…they are a real health risk and cause a lot of damage in human settlements. Forget the bags of refuse! I\’m talking about blocked gutters & downpipes, acrid crap damaging car paintwork.. all your doors, windows & walls of your house are daily spluttered with filthy smelly , unhygenic crap. My wife\’s washing gets spluttered every time and it was for her sake I took to the gun; and little tuzo is wrong on this as she is on every debate she pathetically tries\’ to hijack…. I checked with the local authority and the Law states that one can \’Take them\’ if they are on one\’s property and causing a nuisance. Interesting, though pitiful, to see that fickle Carlito now resorting to brown nosing tuzo …..in an effort to gain allies I presume…that IS pathetic.
Bentley (aka Reliant Robin) I don’t for a moment believe your story…. and even if it WERE true that is no reason to delude yourself about anything nice about flying, shiteing vermin.. They Shite everywhere and if you ever have the misfortune to get splattered you can take it from me it is Gross.. Slimey, wet, putrid and revolting… just like tuzo in fact.
I dont think so sweetie (mcf102) the act allows for the killing of seagulls by appointed persons when a health and safety matter is being broached. witness the town hall clock being stopped by nesting bird this year. Witness the fine given to the Devon person as previously mentioned. You will be dealt with in the same way if you break this law. Calm down, you live by the sea, if we all were exactly where we were supposed to be,what a dull little world it would be! I think this one is over,I like them and you (and the rest of the BOGS) do not.
You did not teach english by any chance did you?(bentley 101) My spelling lessons were so tedious my soul pleasure was to look out of the window and dream…watching the birds as i recall. Glad someone mentioned J.L seagull at last.
On a more serious note (rustic) Have you noticed that i rarely defend myself against the barrage of unpleasant things you and other posters say about me? I wonder if you take this line with everyone that disagrees with you? You may by all means ignore me,as I fear you are now running out of adjectives anyway.. hence the repeat of several words, so give it a rest eh? and stick to the subject in hand. I am sure the editor will inform me if I am not welcome here, wont you?
Conney Huq fan myself, gets forgiven every time…eyes go all dreamy..ummm
Yes Carlito you’ve confirmed what I always thought about you by trying to make an ally of tuzo. I’ve been reading the earlier posts on this and many other subjects and I can’t understand why tuzo hasn’t been hung, drawn and quartered and fed to the gulls yonks ago.
Re:107. No I DON’T. I’ve seen enough seagull shite to last a lifetime.
Massif CF I read your old post and your latest and it is apparent that living in such close proximity of the graceful gull has had an adverse effect on you and now nothing will stop you on your mission to kill. Has “”””taking to the gun”””” ever really solved anything””””? My thoughts are with you but my sympathies are not. Now Gull Munchin Polecat, as your name probably suggests I think it fair to assume that you are on the side of the killers on this one but at the risk of being a pedant there is a glaring inconsistency with your post 103. You say you don’t believe my story, but then go on to say that gulls shite everywhere, even on you, so why not, if you had your head thrown back laughing, in your mouth. You rightly point out that it is revolting and gross so if one did manage to “”””pop a warm one into your gob”””” then you too would probably chuck. I suffered a head and shoulder shot in Aberdeen recently and didn’t feel lucky at all but then I can hardly blame the gull can I. Tuzo If you knew me then you would not ask if I had ever taught English I don’t think my style (perhaps lack of style would be a better description) is suited to the classroom.
well you can see me anyway (gull 109) I shall be in bucky doo on sat morning, wearing my finest and shoes (although they will NOT be “”””Crocs””””… poor deluded croc people, need our help….see how they walk in them…””””take me to your leader”””” style.) Dont keep me waiting, I have limited interest in this meeting.
Re: Carlito *108 Hah ha ha…. Oh Carlito you’re funny !! You make me laugh… You sound SO like an angry young man – (I bet you’re under 32..!) SO quick to take offence and to switch your allegience… I like your style though! and I don’t think I could really dislike you even if I wanted to… Just try not to be so quick to turn ‘Nasty’ cos it ain’t very becoming….
So tuzo in her gladrags is hopin to have a lliason with Polecat on Sat am in Bucky doo Square !!!What time tuzo? I generally have a coffee and watch Dr Stomp on a Sat Am and this I MUST see….
Thanks for your analysis (AS), you’ve hit the nail on the head. I am young, and have a low moron tolerance threshold. Speaking of which…Tuzo in Buckydoo? Hasn’t anyone else concluded that she’s posting her comments from the Verne in Portland? Safest place for her.
“”””and tediousness the outward limbs and flourishes”””” Been to the Verne, and the concrete boat prison, grim and windowless, no smoking these days…time goes by even slower. (c114)
115, To finish your pointless quoting of the boring bard “”””I will be brief, your noble tuzo is mad”””” The thread is about seagulls and the effect they have on Bridport and it’s residents. Do you have anything worth while to contribute on the subject?
Well my seagulls have gone, presumably back to the sea, seems it is the pressure of raising chicks that brings them uncomfortably close for some of you “”””humans”””” Mad? Its called having “”””episodes””””these days,I try and keep mine to a minimum, although I have found they can be very interesting, a sometimes welcome jaunt from a mundane reality.
Bentley.. I want you to tell me that you’re NOT serious & that you just mis-typed for a moment. You honestly cannot be serious: Shakespeare Boring..???!!! Sorry Ed. but this don’t appear to hav much to do with ‘Cull the Gull’ – except perhaps that in one of th Bard’s plays (The Tempest I think) Herring Gulls are described as vermin to be culled.
I just can’t get on with the bloke or the language of the time and despise the mundane snobbery that exists around being able to quote him. I also think the beatles are a bunch of over-rated scouse chancers and that the song writing partnership of Jagger and Richards eclipses anything ever done by Lennon and Macartney. To help with your anti gull atitude listen to fleetwood macs albatross whilst watching them fly over a stormy sea. (ooh eer hark at me)
AS. I think you’ll find it was in Macbeth.. there’s that famous scene where Lady Macbeth starts wringing her hands and screaming: “”””Out out.. damn Herring Gull””””
Hey Bentley. Anti gull attitude ? where do you get that from ? I’m a member of RSPB don’t yer know. But true I do beleive in a Cull because Gulls esp Herring Gulls (that lets face it are the size of a Goose & twice as aggressive) need to be controlled in towns where they become,…..wait for it…. vermin. I don’t think Shakespeare necessarily IS (and certainly doesn’t have to be) elitist. Kids on rough housing estates and in prisons can get really enthused and inspired by his work. & on that philisophical note………
I despise? I dont like? I cant get on with? Get over yourself mate (B or C or whatever you call yourself 119) I thought i saw an albatross flutter round the lamp I looked again, and saw it was A penny postage stamp….
People on this thread have said “”””stop feeding the vermin and they will die out or go away””””. Do they mean sea-gulls or tuzo?
That tired old word (vermin) Which ultimately means someone is taking something that you want. Humans have encroached on every area of the planet, driving back and wiping out species as they go, with no regard for anything but themselves… Who pray, are the VERMIN? It says more about the person saying the word than any creature I know of.
ffs stop this insane ranting about vermin plz, or i\’ll be forced to take rat poison……..dies
Don’t get me started Tuzo! ver·min (vûrmn) n. pl. vermin 1. Various small animals or insects, such as rats or cockroaches, that are destructive, annoying, or injurious to health. 2. Animals that prey on game, such as foxes or weasels. 3. a. A person considered loathsome or highly offensive. b. Such people considered as a group. So – Seagulls are Vermin. But Vermin only exist because humans are around to define them as “”””vermin”””” in the first place. Tuzo, you aren’t “”””Vermin”””” – your not significant enough to be loathsome or highly offensive. You’re merely an irritation. Perhaps if you rifled through people’s rubbish and dumped on a few cars you’d be getting close!
well little c, we will agree to differ on the meaning of the word. do keep up your steady flow of insults, i have nearly enough to paper the bathroom, tis fantasy though as we both know, as you do not know me sweetie!
I heard that it works if you remove the eggs and replace them after hard-boiling them. The unwitting gulls should hopefully continue to tend their eggs without being alerted by shiny china eggs. As we all know they\’re pretty damn smart. Mind you, I\’d advise wearing a helmet while doing this (Health & Safety). A more entertaining method, even exciting, is to assemble the following: (i)one over-ripe herring/kipper attached to top of (ii)one garden fork stuck firmly in the ground, by means of (iii)a short length of bare garden wire which is also attached to (iv)a suitable length of well-insulated electric cable with mains plug at one end. (v)one comfortable deck-chair with good book, pint of beer and wellies (again, Health & Safety)…..and patience. Just flick the switch when your guests arrive for lunch.
I did think it strange that these folk buy flats bang in the centre of town – then complain about things that happen in the centre of town (pubs/music etc). This place sounds just right – although don’t knwow what the owners of the B&B think about two of their chefs jumping ship and setting up down the road.
Oh no tuzo, I wouldn’t give you the satisfaction. Just remember,that every time there’s been a power cut, I got another greedy gull or two! 😉
i doubt it, power cuts in the winter, gulls gone by then, but i like to think of you sitting there waiting for nothing, its quite amusing!
Shoot them. Simple. leave it half dead on the street and watch their half cousins, rattie familiarus, come and gobble em up. better to have four legged rats than borgels with wings.
borgel? what are they? Something you leave for half dead? Too much playstation it sounds like.
A borgel is something dirty, mingin and about as much use as tits on a bull. A seagull is a perfect example, yeh boy ya. As for de playstations, I’m more into the real McCoy. Somewhere near the bottom with the flecks of gaosan you get when ya open the beg. Rite hey…by the way, there’s quare fit birds workin in the nursin home. Arse pinchin ones..
Now, look at the population of gulls and compare it to the population of humans. Any difference? Humans are more like pests because we dump our rubbis and pollute the atmosphere! Oh, its such a pain that they pood on me, although I dumped my rubbish! Ooh, my life is ruined. I can’t fish because there are gulls around me! They take my fish, I’ll kill ’em! They are pests in our rubbish dumps. WE ARE THE ONLY ONES TO BLAME HERE! IT IS OUR FAULT THEY ARE THRIVING! WHY CAN’T THE GOVERNMENT GET THIS B****Y MESSAGE?
After reading posts 134 & 135 I am wondering if patients in the long stay unit at Forston Clinic have obtained access to the net, one seems to be waffling on in a made up language and legible probably only to himself and the other is foaming at the mouth about the goverment, whom, as far as I can tell by reading the back posts on this subject, have not been involved in the sea gull debate at all. I think that sea-gulls are superb, not so much when they are screeching and clomping about on my roof at 5 in the morning, but in their natural environment, over the sea and cliffs, riding a storm they inspire a sense of a being in perfect harmony with their surroundings. Unlike the human animal.
My wife personally breast feeds baby orphaned gulls that fall off the roof, and they are very healthy for it, they go on formula soon after. As for myself, I am creating a genetically altered gull which will be a manifestation of human gull, with my wifes breasts named icarus ( but he wont melt when he goes near the sun ).
my darling pair are back for the third year running, still no laundry soiling, and still the very respecful and intelligent attitude that i have come to understand and appreciate, this year perhaps look at them again with a fresh eye?
Batty Boy, does that include culling cancer patients that have to use Morphine to knock out the pain?
Here we go again!Bully and cull the Gull.Leave them alone.Buy a bin with a lid if you’re moaning about the bags that they rip apart.Think yourself lucky that you have the gift of hearing these lovely,clever birds.Vermin of the sky,no i don’t think so.We leave a lot more crap on the beaches,damaging the enviroment for years to come.
Maybe we could catch ’em all up and send ’em to London, they might then apreciate that their pigeons aren’t that bad after all…
I go down the to west-bay most week-ends and there doesn’t seem to be many seagulls.Has the ‘cull’started?Has the ‘bird man’been there?What a strange job,wonder what made him decide on that kind of work.
While Bridport is by all accounts a seaside town, and seagulls are found in such environments, their ability to re-distribute the town’s rubbish all over the gaff cannot be denied!! Crikey, driving through on Thursday or Friday morning after the bin men had gone through, the amount of cack strewn everywhere by these little buggers is HORRENDOUS!! If the rubbish was in a half sensible bin, that might help for a start, but let’s face it, the council aren’t going to ask the bin-men to lift a bin…… must be some European legislation somewhere that would prevent anything so sensible, so we have to bag up in nice easy-to-tear plastic, that by all accounts just serves as a dispensary for our flippin’ feathered friends, and as food is so easily available in town, don’t expect these little f*@?ers to go out to sea and hunt for it…. If the blighters couldn’t get at the rubbish, they wouldn’t stick around half as much as they do. As the rubbish is unlikely to be dealt with by our illustrious council in any helpful way, consider that the problem will stay, and people will consider control by lead headache as the only viable solution……
I have recently changed my car from a red one to a blue one. I think the gulls may be colour blind as they missed the red car, but after I washed the blue one they used it for target practice, I’m not to worried as “”its all white now””.
There’s always been seagulls here, the problem is with the incomers, the one’s that complain about the farm smells, or the church bells, the one’s that walk round with collars folded up (or maybe they really are Elvis fans?).
Cull the gull? Well if we are basing this campaign on the fact that gulls raid bins, drop litter, are abusive, show no repect for people, scare the locals, steal food and anything else they can get their beaks on and have a generally negative effect on the environment then I reckon there are probably quite a few human residents who should look out as well!
Despite living by the sea, it turns out that a lot of people in Bridport don’t like seagulls. There’s a fair chance they don’t like a lot of other things too, like the sea, maybe, or each other. But whatever, there are far too many of them (seagulls) and they’re a bit pushy … is this ringing any bells at all? They make a stinking mess (seagulls) and they’re generally rather noisy and unpleasant. Sound familiar? Maybe not. But anyway, I like seagulls. They’re merciless opportunists and very good at getting by. So just like me, then. Also, has anyone actually bothered to talk to them? (the seagulls, just to be absolutely clear). I have to admit that I’ve always found them to be resolutely disinterested in anything I have to say unless I’m holding a pizza, but that doesn’t mean we should give up on the dialogue thing. Being marginally higher up the food chain, maybe it’s our duty to devise a solution to this bird/man stand-off. So … perhaps we could ask them if they would consider relocating to Central Asia (the seagulls). Admittedly, there’s no sea there but there might be nice rubbish dumps and dead donkeys and the occasional discarded limb or potato skin for them to feast on. And a welcoming, possibly not that fussy population. Or … perhaps in these tightened times we’re missing a trick. Here is a ready source of protein, literally on our doorsteps (because that’s where they find all their grub. It’s true. You know it is) upon which we could feast. Except they might not taste that great, having already eaten all the food that we’ve already rejected. I don’t know if there’s a culinary term in existence to describe this process: a prize to the person who invents the best one. Or … we could train them to crap on people we don’t like. Actually, that could already be happening. When did you last get a direct hit? And that’s one of my best reasons for liking them (the seagulls). Have you ever bothered to look up as you kick out of the pub? They’re up there, scooting about, rooftop to rooftop, unencumbered by taxi fares, doing their seagull thing, having a party all of their own. The problem? We paid for it but we’re not invited ‘cos we can’t fly. So maybe this is a simple case of sour grapes. Love you anyway. Thought for the week: if you can smell a rat, there’s generally one standing behind you. Challenge for the week: has anyone got any seagull/rat recipes I could review?
How to Catch a Seagull
How to Catch a Seagull
I’ve an idea for using seagull eggs as a delicacy? make out there all the rage. then sell them to grockles, posh toffee houses in london etc, the gulls would soon lose the status given to them by councilors etc. money would be their chief concern , then Blammo! the farms would awash with rows and rows of battery gull sheds. with at least 98.756% of all seagulls domesticated, wild seagulls would be few and far between.. by then the few that are left would be no more hassle……
Then Huge Furry-Whistlingtool will be fighting for their rights and serving them up with sorrel sauce. Or as someone else said above “”let us take some seagulls and serve them up to grockles as a local delicacy – “”Sea Chicken – mmm with that delicious flavour of bins and tar””
RE: CULL THE GULL?
On behalf of BR Member [b]Rustic[/b]
…it is very simple so I will type slowly in case you miss any of it. Seagulls live by the sea, not always on it and they have an established colony right here where we (people) have decided to live. Some cretinous morons over the years have been foolish and bone idle enough to leave out their rubbish in handy black containers called bin bags, which the gulls have come to learn (and pass down the generations contain food, (we didn’t have the problem when everything was in bins however that is for another debate). Some dungforbrains (probably northern chuff monkeys down here on holiday) actually went to the extreme of feeding them as, apart from their partners, they never get to see wildlife living as they do in some squalid inner city slum. The gulls oblivious to the stupidity of people, eat the free food, become very healthy and as a result decide to extend their colony onto the convenient roofs of nearby houses and factories. They can’t do anything about it, it is a gulls nature, we however as humans could take more care and some precautions to dissuade them from being a menace.