Due to a recent spate of Cornish pasties masquerading as Dorset pasties in shops, cafés and restaurants in Bridport and the surrounds, Local Trading Standards Officers have raided several outlets and issued warnings to those vending the filthy imposters. Although the counterfeit pasties are extremely difficult to spot with a crimped crust and an egg glaze, the taste is the giveaway. Local Trading Standards Occifer said: “There is only one place to buy a real Dorset Pasty and that is Leakers on East Street, no further comment, no pictures, goodbye.”
Dead giveaway…
How to spot the tell tale signs of a forged pasty:
- Dorset Pasties have peas.
- Cornish Pasties do not.
- Crust crimping on a Dorset pasty is clockwise left to right.
- Crust crimping on a Cornish pasty is anticlockwise right to left.
- Dorset Pasty is crimped over the top, similar to a Pastysaurus.
- Cornish pasty is crimped on the long edge.
- A Stegossauruss is an extinct Pastievore
We contacted an expert from Leakers Bakery,
Expert: “Our pasties are baked fresh every day, we mix our filling evenly, unlike the Cornish who tend to blob the meat at the front leading to disappointment when you hit the bulk of the potato, with a Leakers Pasty you enjoy an even spread right the way through the savoury product.”
Bridport Radio Reporter: “What’s best, Hot or cold?”
Expert: “Our pasty eating customers prefer them warm for lunch and cold for tea.”
Bridport Radio reporter ”Why is that?”
Expert: “I don’t know.”
Bridport Radio reporter: “Is there a British Standard or an iSO reference for the make up of a standard pasty?”
Expert: “No, don’t be an idiot, it’s a savoury, not a helicopter part.”
Bridport Radio reporter: “Can we have the recipe?”
Expert: “No, clear off!”
China
Local Trading Standards Officers working for the counterfeit pie division are convinced the pasties originate from the Far East. “We are convinced the imitation savoury snack originates from the Far East, and we don’t mean Barking” Said the spokesperson.
Horror
Kate and Sidney Pye visitors to Bridport spoke of their horror when they discovered they had eaten a counterfeit savoury: “We are horrified, the perpetrators of such heinous crimes should be incarcerated for life, we bit into our savouries and were quickly disappointed by the sheer volume of potato in the mix, one time, Shabba”
Prize Spotted
Have you been the victim of Pasty crime? Have you unwhittingstally eaten one of the savoury imposters? Contact Bridport Radio with your savoury horror story and you could win a warm Pasty and a coffee with the Editor and Roving food Critic and reporter Denzille De Ville, probably on a Saturday, before 1PM, before they sell out, at Leakers in East Street, Bridport.
Please send in your recipe’s and baking tips.
KEEP ‘EM PEELED.
Denzille De Ville
This is outrageous!! This article is nothing but a thinly disguised advert for Leakers bakery! [I](in East Street Bridport)[/I] How many pieces of Dorset pasty silver did Leakers [I](in East Street Bridport)[/I] pay Denzille De Ville in order to have him betray other fine pasty outlets in Bridport?
Do leakers sell spelt bread?
My Dearest Mr Bat, I have no affiliation and have at no time received monetary remuneration from the aforementioned bakers, however I must disclose that I have taken more than one piece of “try before you buy” chilli bread from the counter.
I can also confirm that Leakers do sell a spelt loaf, I have contacted Leakers for you and confirm a price of 2.20GBP For a large plain or 1.80GBP for a smaller loaf with sunflower seeds. Leakers suggested ordering now as stocks were limited as of 11:10am 06/07/2007 to order call 01308 423296 or pop-in, hope this helps. Can I be your apprentice?