The nation is once again gripped by the threat of swine flu, and the cause? The Harmless Christmas card. Medical staff throughout The England and the other areas, especially Bridport, have issued urgent warnings on the risk of the spread of H1N1 swine flu virus from saliva on good old fashioned Christmas Cards and stamps, it is estimated that 400 million cards will be sent over the holiday period, 97.6% of those cards will have the old fashioned gummed envelopes, we all know you need a double lick for the gummed bit and another for the stamp.
Death Trap
The H1N1 strain can last for 48 hours in the right conditions leaving the whole nation exposed to infection. That sticky bit on the back of The Queens Head is an absolute death trap, more dangerous than an American McClaren buggy (not a UK one yet but it’s looking strong, Ed) 750 billion H1n1 germs (we counted ‘em) on one stamp alone, that was a regular stamp like the one above.The bigger one to the right has nearly 800 billion H1N1 germs, count ‘em.
How do I prevent infection?
Always use a pair of vinyl gloves and wear a mask when opening your cards and presents, this prevents the airborne virus entering your passage.
Who is at risk?
All of us, especially Post Mens and Girls.
Wrong envelopes.
We asked a leading stationer what precautions we can take: "Use the newer style pregummed or the ones with the peely off strip, no sore tongues and no flu."
Simples
Graham at the post office was consulted on the stamp debacle: "Simples, use our sticker style pre-glued stamps, we have loads in stock. Our staff have been trained in the correct handling of these envelopes and stamps and can assure you that no children were harmed or exploited during the making of our cards and stamps, maybe next year"
Here is a very informative and boring American telling us the truth about Swine Flu
www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wK1127fHQ4
Conclusion
Well there you have it folks, licking stamps and envelopes is no longer like playing Russian Roulette.
Stamps available from Graham at Bridport Post Office just around the corner…
For Bridport Radio, this is……
Scoop Doggy Sneeze.
Happy Christmas.
